


He ran away, so she could live

by julinnnics



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accident, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forgive Me, Friends With Benefits, a lot of things happen in a short one shot, abby griffin is a bitch, cage wallace is actually a nice guy?, things get better but they get worse at first, this has NOT an open ending because im not a sociopath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 15:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21017981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julinnnics/pseuds/julinnnics
Summary: This wasn't something new, Bellamy was friends with benefits with a lot of people before Clarke, and feelings on his side were never the problem, so why did it hurt so much seeing Clarke with someone else in the bed they shared just a couple days ago, even though he set the rule for not being exclusive?or, Bellamy realizes his feelings in the most unconventional situation.





	He ran away, so she could live

Bellamy and Clarke had an _interesting _relationship to say the least.

When the two first met, it was at the bar, he was new in town, freshly moved to New York to be closer to his sister— she insisted he met her friends, and Clarke was one of them. It felt, like the universe made them perfectly the polar opposites of each other— both of them felt a strong towards each other almost immediately.

Even in the littlest situations they argued; over whether who should sit on the Iron Throne (Clarke was team Dany, and Bellamy preferred Jaime), or how Clarke stated that rum was the best alcohol to drink, and Bellamy always made slight remarks of her being a modern Jack Sparrow about it, which she hated (maybe she liked it a bit).

They relationship started in storms and lightning, and that’s how it went for the next three months, until Octavia threatened to cut them out of her life (and she was actually serious, that was the scariest part).

So the ‘Grumpy Asshole’— Bellamy, and the ‘Princess Pirate’— Clarke, _tried_ to become friends.

_Tried_ is a key word here.

Listen, they _did_ try, they really did— even went through a movie night without arguing over which movie to put on.

The problem wasn’t them talking too much this time, the problem was that they _didn’t _do much talking that night, and the morning after.

Well if you count dirty talk…

Frenemies with benefits existed, right?

_“We wouldn’t work outside this bed.” Clarke stated, there wasn’t a question in her sentence, and Bellamy knew that she was right._

_“Yeah.” He sighed, putting an arm over his face, blocking the morning light coming through the curtains. Clarke sat up, her whole back exposed to him, the smooth and pale skin that he couldn’t get enough of couple hours ago._

_“But… it doesn’t mean we should quit doing it.” She said, which caused him to sit up too, he moved to the edge of the bed, and maybe he was a little too close to her, but it didn’t matter… right?_

_“What do you mean?” He asked, which he knew the answer to, but needed her to say it._

_“Frien- frenemies with benefits?” She said, her voice uneven. “No strings attached, just sex.”_

_“Incredible sex.” He said, and Clarke chuckled nodding. “Shall we continue?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her, which made her snort._

_“Sure, old man.” She pushed him on his back, and started crawling up to meet his lips._

_“You know it’s weird to call me ‘old man’ when you’re about to have sex with me?”_

_“Yeah, yeah.” Bellamy turned them around, gripping her hips tightly…_

That was the beginning of a beautiful yet, a tragic relationship.

* * *

“I brought cookies!” Bellamy shouted excitedly for some reason, opening the door to Clarke’s apartment— it was their fifth month anniversary of becoming friends, kind of. And he thought it’d be a good idea to bring cookies, because Clarke had a serious addiction with the ones he made.

The apartment was quiet, but he was used to that, because of the thick walls she had for some reason (_“You’re gonna make a rich people joke, because of how thick my walls are, aren’t you.” _Clarke once said. _“They always joke about how thin the walls are, but yours are something else.”_ Bellamy laughed).

He put down the box of the delicious cookies on the kitchen counter, and moved towards her bedroom— he knew how exhausted she could be after a long shift at the hospital she was interning.

Suddenly, he heard a voice.

More like multiply voices.

The closer he got, the voices got louder. Maybe it was the weird neighbor watching porn? They’ve heard a lot of weird noises from upstairs where a 40-ish cat lady was living— they once thought she had a cult, so it wouldn’t be surprising if it was her making the banging noises.

When Bellamy opened the bedroom, he found out from where the voices were coming from, and it definitely wasn’t the neighbor.

Finn— Clarke’s ex was on top of her, half of his body covered by sheets (thank god)— the noise stopped.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Bellamy stuttered, closing the door, and moving back to the kitchen as quickly as he could. He shouldn’t have come without texting her, he shouldn’t have come at all.

Bellamy was grabbing his jacket from the hanger, when a wide eyed Clarke ran up to him, stopping him. She was in an oversized sweatshirt, that probably was Finn’s, which made him suddenly feel even worse.

“Bellamy!” She exclaimed. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Wanted to surprise you, but I guess you already had a guest.” He cocked his head to the bedroom door awkwardly. “I better get going, the cookies you love are on the counter.” He said, exiting her apartment.

He heard Clarke call after him, but he just couldn’t turn around to see her. When he got into his car, a pang of ache in his chest started, he couldn’t name why, but it just hurt. Bellamy was unable to start the car and drive away, so he just sat there, staring at the steering wheel.

He knew they weren’t exclusive, the thing between them was just _fucking_. Nothing more.

So why did he feel horrible, betrayed even.

He’s had plenty of hookups, few short relationships and maybe two or three friends with benefits before Clarke,and feelings were never the problem, he just never seemed to fall in love.

He looked at her apartment building, and he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He and Clarke have been friends for a couple of months, and the sex was good, but they started being really domestic in the past three months— staying over became a daily occurrence, going to dinner together, he was even her plus one on her mother’s wedding with Kane. 

Their friends used to laugh at how of an old married couple they are, but after a short period of time, some of them looked knowingly, being accustomed to their behavior— Octavia always looked at him with a sad smile, and he had no idea why.

He drove back to his apartment.

* * *

Clarke rang a couple of times in the evening, texted him even though she hated it, but Bellamy wasn’t in the mood for another spiel of excuses about what happened. He even made the rule of not being exclusive, she had every right to have sex with Finn, even though he was her cheating ex.

Cheating ex.

They didn’t owe each other anything, but he was her friend, maybe even best friend, he had every right to be angry with her for sleeping with her _cheating ex_. Friends cared for one another, so he could be furious with her if she was being an idiot.

Bellamy sat on his couch, turning the new season of Top Chief playing off, he grabbed his phone and dialed Clarke.

It didn’t even take ten seconds for her to answer.

“Bellamy!” She exclaimed, out of breath. “I’ve been trying to call you, but you never answered.”

“Yeah, because you were being an idiot.” fuck, he didn’t intend for this to come out so harshly.

“_Excuse me?!”_ She was mad… fuck.

“Collins?! Really?” 

“Who I sleep with is none of your business.” Clarke snapped, he heard her locking the door, probably going to her car.

“You’re right, it isn’t. But I’m your friend, whether you like it or not.” He said, pacing around his small living room.

“I am not having this conversation with you on the phone right now.” She snapped, hanging up on him. Bellamy threw his phone on the couch, knowing that calling her wouldn’t make her answer him— she was too furious.

“_Fuck.” _He sighed.

Maybe he overreacted? Maybe he shouldn’t have acted the way he did, but it wasn’t his fault that seeing her with that scum of earth in bed, made his blood boil, and the way his heart suddenly stopped beating at the sight, he just couldn’t take it— so what was the best way to deal with it? Call her and yell at her.

Maybe that was why he was horrible at relationships? Yet, he and Clarke never were in one.

The sun started setting, and he would’ve enjoyed the view except it reminded him of her— Clarke used to tell him stories, how when she never had any inspiration, she just painted the sky, and today it was beautiful.

He was too absorbed into the view to hear his phone ring at first, but then quickly answered.

“What Clarke?” He asked, annoyed.

“Is this Bellamy Blake?” A woman asked, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yes.”

“There’s been an accident, you’re listed as the emergency contact for _Clarke Griffin.”_ The woman answered, and Bellamy was seconds from falling to his knees. Shock went through his body, and he couldn’t stop his eyes from tearing up at bit. “Mr. Blake?”

“Y-yeah, I’ll be there.” He hung up, and quickly ran to get his coat, and keys. The sunset seemed to become more bloody, unforgiving as he drove to the hospital, he was in no state to call any of their friends, or even her mother, but knowing Mrs. Griffin she’d know by now.

* * *

The drive wasn’t that long, as he lived 15 minutes from the only hospital in Arkadia, the city wasn’t that big thankfully. He parked at the nearest free spot, and sprung to the hospital entrance.

There was a lot of people waiting, but he wasn’t about to wait in a line, so he skipped it.

“Clarke Griffin.” He panted, ignoring the annoyed remarks the man in the line made behind him.

“She’s in room 13b.” The nurse said, and he started going in the direction of the block B.

For the first time in his life, he was thankful to see Abby Griffin in the hallway waiting anxiously for the doctors. Clarke’s mother never liked him, from the very beginning assuming he was bad influence, and that she should date someone better, someone who deserved her— even though he never had the chance to even ask Clarke out on a date.

“Where is she?” Bellamy asked Abby, panic rising up in him with every breath.

“She’s stable, a few broken ribs and she hit her head pretty badly, the doctor is treating her, searching for any new injuries, but for now it’s not that bad.” She answered, her voice even, totally different from the Abby who was at the edge of biting her nails in stress. She could just flip the switch, and turn her humanity off, and no, he didn’t intend to put a vampire diaries reference, but Octavia threatened him to watch it, it wasn’t his fault.

“What- what happened?!”

“Drunk driver hit her car.” Abby snapped, and he could tell she had more to say, but didn’t.

“Just say it.” He replied, harshly.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?!” She answered instead, her voice raised, and the death glare she was shooting him was enough to tell him, she somehow thought it was his fault. Bellamy decided it was no sense in starting a fight with Abby Griffin, knowing she wouldn’t stop— that was probably the only trait Clarke had in common with her.

But he couldn’t stop himself. “Clarke won’t be excited to the see you as the first thing when she wakes up, Mrs. Griffin.” He muttered.

“And you think she’ll be happy to see _you?_” She scoffed. “You’re with her a couple months, and you think you know her better than her own mother?!”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” He answered. He knew her so much better than Abby could ever do, and Clarke knew him the same way— they just understood each other like that, maybe that was why with time the finally became such close friends.

Before Abby could answer, a man in his early 40’s stepped out of the room— Clarke’s doctor.

“Dr. Wallace.” He shook hands with Bellamy, then with Abby, as she was farther away from them.

“Bellamy Blake, Clarke’s boyfriend.” He said quickly, not realizing what he’s said.

“Abby Griffin, Clarke’s mother.” She answered in her sweet tone.

“She’s stable, two broken ribs, and a concussion. I would recommend for her to stay at least two days here so we can see any changes, for now she’s asleep. Clarke was very lucky.” Dr. Wallace answered, and both of them nodded in understatement.

“When can we see her?” Bellamy asked at the same time as Abby asked. “Is there a possible transfer to another hospital?”

“You can go to see her, but she’s asleep and will be probably for the next fifteen hours at least. And to the transfer, we do ones if the her stay would be longer than two weeks, and it’s not, so it’d be possible, but there is no sense of making one, with such short stay.”

Abby grew immediately angry. “I’d like to transfer her to a hospital in Atlanta, it’s gonna be better for me to check up with her.” 

Both he and the doctor looked annoyed, Bellamy more obviously.

“Clarke wouldn’t be happy with that.” He remarked, trying to keep his voice even.

“And we need her signature as she is twenty three.” Dr. Wallace replied.

“Do you know who I—“

“I’m gonna go and see her.” Bellamy interrupted, shooting a glare in Abby’s way. 

When he opened the door, he saw Clarke laying the unconscious— her body so small, too small in that big hospital bed. She had a purple bruise on her left cheek, and a heart monitor on her right. Her constant furrow between her eyebrows now gone, her lips put in a small pout.

Bellamy sat besides her, his shaky hands gently grabbing her right one— he kissed it, closing his eyes, trying to calm himself down.

He was so shaken up by the whole thing, that he forgot to even call her friends, but Clarke hated when the whole attention was turned on her, so he decided against it— Octavia and Harper would kill him because of it later.

“Hey Clarke.” He whispered, both of his hands still holding her small one. “I know you can’t hear me, and every time someone talks to an unconscious person in movies you get annoyed, but here I am, an idiot doing exactly wha you hate.” He chuckled.

“I know I was an asshole, but I care about you, maybe a little too much for the friends with benefits field.” He whispered, looking at her face— still no change, not that he expected her to magically wake up just by his voice; this wasn’t a fairytale.

He sat there near her, not letting go off her hand— he just couldn’t. He would stay here as long as he needed, until Clarke didn’t want him here. She didn’t wake up, and probably wouldn’t for the next couple of hours, but he didn’t care, the fact that she was alive was enough.

Her mother didn’t step a foot in her room, not once, but maybe it was for the better. She and Clarke never were close, and only drifted further apart after her father’s death couple years back— it was also one of the reasons she hated hospitals so much, but that was also the reason why she chose medical school.

This was going to be a long night…

* * *

Bellamy woke up at six in the morning, sleep was coming hard to him, from all the things that happened yesterday— Finn and Clarke, the fight, the accident and the way his hands couldn’t stop shaking for hours.

To say he was terrified was an understatement, he couldn’t lose her, not her— there were too many unsaid things.

She was still asleep when he woke up, and Bellamy couldn’t stop looking at her. Even with the bruise and a few cuts, she looked unconditionally beautiful.

Then like an arrow shoot through him, he realized why he felt so bad, when he caught her with Finn. It wasn’t just a stupid crush he had on her, the feelings were so much more for a crush.

He was _in love_ with her.

He was in love with Clarke Griffin, and he felt like that for so much longer than he thought.

The thought of losing was unbearable for him.

So he sat there, as long as it took, waiting for her to open her eyes.

* * *

It was 7pm the next day, Clarke has been asleep for 24 hours now, and no sign of waking up soon. Bellamy tried to stay calm, and the nurses even tried calming him down, but nothing worked— all her vitals were good, she was stable, but she didn’t wake up.

Their friends found out through Miller, who was visiting his boyfriend Jackson at the hospital, when he saw a crying Bellamy— he begged him not to tell anyone, but he did anyways, but no one came, thanks to Miller.

7:58pm— that was the exact time Clarke Griffin woke up, and he wasn’t in the room, because he went to the stupid cafeteria.

“Bellamy?” She said, her voice harsh and low. He immediately went to her side, ignoring the doctor talking and the nurses checking up on her, his hands flew to the sides of her face, stroking the bruise gently.

“Are you okay? How are you feeling? Does something hurt? Are you—“

“I’m fine.” She said, putting her right hand, over his, which was laying on her cheek. Bellamy smiled, he felt like a stone was thrown from his heart. “How long was I asleep?”

“Almost 25 hours, Ms. Griffin.” Dr. Wallace answered.

“Christ.” She sighed, looking around the room.

“I’ll be back in a few hours, to see if anything changed, and you’re gonna be most likely free to go back home tomorrow.” Dr. Wallace smiled, and Clarke nodded. When everyone left the room, leaving just the two of them alone— a strange silence came upon them.

“Uh, I’m glad you’re okay.” Bellamy replied, and Clarke nodded once again— this time no smile.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

“You have me listed as your emergency call.” He answered. Bellamy didn’t know how to act exactly, because it seemed she was angry with him, which was understandable— before the accident they fought. “They said you got into a car accident, a drunk idiot drove into you… where were you headed?”

“… To you.” She whispered after a beat. Bellamy took a sharp breath, a wave of guilt hitting him suddenly. She hated arguing on the phone, so she decided to come to his place, because of the fight _he started— _it was all his fault. The accident wouldn’t happen if he wouldn’t let his emotions take the best of him, and call her and point out the mistakes she’s made. He was an idiot. 

Clarke must’ve realized what was going in his head, because she took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze, reassuring him to not blame himself for it— it was Clarke after all, she never blamed anyone for anything.

“It’s not your fault, Bellamy.” She said, shaking him from his thoughts— he shook his head, disbelieving what she said, of course it was his fault. Nothing would’ve happened if he wouldn’t be a jealous asshole with issues, they were friends with benefits nothing more, and for the first time in his life, the feelings were on his side, not on the others.

“How could you not hate me?” He asked, shaking his head. Bellamy suddenly stoop up, pacing around the hospital room. “Nothing wouldn’t happen if I didn’t let my feelings get in the way… _nothing.”_ he exhaled.

“Feelings?” She asked, and Bellamy looked at her in the eyes. He couldn’t be here— she deserved someone better than him, her mother was right all along; he only caused her pain, the accident was his fault, she probably felt guilty because of his outburst on the phone, _he couldn’t be here_.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, and quickly exited the room, going to the exit as quickly as he could. Bellamy heard Clarke calling after him, but this time he wasn’t running away from her, because of his anger that she slept with someone else, but because it would be good for her, not having him in her life would be better for her.

No one could be good enough for Clarke, but there probably was a living person that would get close enough to that, and Bellamy wasn’t even that.

He ran away, so she could live.

* * *

Days went by, and Bellamy was more miserable with every hour of it— Clarke tried calling him or texting, but all she got in response was that he was out of town, so she wouldn’t find him. He knew this was going to be hard, isolating himself from her meant, ignoring everyone that was friends with her too, which was every friend he had.

Lincoln— Octavia’s too old boyfriend was his only help, he and Clarke didn’t know each other very well, so it wasn’t a problem asking him for a favor, even though he didn’t like the guy, he knew he could count on him. So he called and asked to say he’s out of town, so no one would come to his apartment, where he literally hid.

“Open the fuck up!” He heard an angry Clarke outside his apartment on the sixth day of ignoring everyone and being miserable.

When he opened the door, a red faced, and furious Clarke Griffin stood, with her arms crossed over her chest. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?! You even have the audacity to ask?!” She snapped, pushing him into the apartment, letting herself go to the couch which was filled with different sized and colored blankets. “You left me at the hospital, leaving me alone there. Saying some bullshit about how the accident was your fault, which surprise surprise it was fucking not.” He poked him in the chest. “Then you said something about feelings, which after that you ran, leaving me questioning everything.” She shouted in his face.

“Forget about the feelings, Clarke.” He said.

“So you don’t have any feelings for me?” She asked, her blue eyes shooting holes into his own. “If you don’t have any feelings for me, then say it, and I’ll be gone. You’re never going to see me.” She said, her voice low but shaky at the same time.

Bellamy took a sharp a breath, and let it out. He didn’t know what to answer, because either way he was going to lose her. If he lied and said he had no feelings, then she’d never speak to him ever again, but if he would say he had, things would’ve become weird between them, and their friendship would break in the matter of months or even weeks. There was no win in the situation.

Clarke nodded, scrunching up her face, and looked away from him. Stepping away from him, and nodding once more. “Okay.” She whispered, and went to the doors. Seconds later Bellamy blurted out something he never said to any girl, he was in a relationship with.

“I’m in love with _you._”

Clarke stopped dead in her tracks, when Bellamy turned around to look at her. There was no escape from this, so he didn’t hold back.

“I have been in love with you, maybe even before we started this whole friends with benefits thing. And yeah, I’ve realized it too late, or too soon, I don’t know anymore, but the thought of losing you was unbearable. And seeing you with Finn broke me.” Bellamy whispered, tears ready to spill from his eyes. 

“Living without you, is like having your fucking oxygen cut off, Clarke Griffin.” He said, when she slowly turned around to face him, her face shocked, her eyes tear-filled. “But the thought of you getting hurt because of me, because of my stupid recklessness, knowing from the beginning that feelings were not in our deal, and that stupid call causing it all, was what broke me. So I decided to cut myself out of your life for your own good, so you could _live_.” He finished.

In a blink, she threw herself at him— wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, and he wrapped around her waist. Both of them full on crying.

“Do not_ ever_ isolate yourself from my life, Bellamy.” She replied, when she pulled away, putting both of her hands on his cheeks. “Because not having you in my life, is a thing I could never survive.” A sob broke in him, he nodded. “I was with Finn couple days ago, because I saw you with Gina, and I know you two are still friends after everything, but some sick jealousy broke in me.” Bellamy nodded, understanding what she felt.

The kiss they shared couple seconds from their confessions, was different than any they have ever shared— it was desperate, with the taste of both of their tears in it, felt like _home._ They were each others homes. 

“I’m so fucking in love with you too.” She exclaimed, laughing loudly. Bellamy joined in laughing uncontrollably.

Their lives weren’t perfect, none of them said they ever were, but the moment they shared now, was enough to say that their lives would get better, because finally they were at each other sides for better or worse, without having the scare of hiding their feelings.

_Idiots in love _one would say.

And that was one of the few things Miller said two and a half years later, when Clarke and Bellamy were both crying again, this time he was in a suit, and she was all in white.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello beautiful people, if you somehow read through all of that cliche/fluffy/cheesy fan fiction then CONGRATS! I was too lazy to write a full on 37892759 chapter fic, but had so many ideas, so i squashed it into a tiny one shot, and this is what came out. Kudos and comments are much appreciated.


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